In Georgia, you must register by next Monday

A Must Read

This is Your Nation on White Privilege
By Tim Wise
9/13/08

For those who still can't grasp the concept of white privilege, or who are constantly looking for some easy-to-understand examples of it, perhaps this list will help.

* White privilege is when you can get pregnant at seventeen like Bristol Palin and everyone is quick to insist that your life and that of your family is a personal matter, and that no one has a right to judge you or your parents, because "every family has challenges," even as black and Latino families with similar "challenges" are regularly typified as irresponsible, pathological and arbiters of social decay.

* White privilege is when you can call yourself a "fu ckin' redneck," like Bristol Palin's boyfriend does, and talk about how if anyone messes with you, you'll "kick their fu ckin' a ss," and talk about how you like to "shoot shit"
for fun, and still be viewed as a responsible, all-American boy (and a great son-in-law to be) rather than a thug.

* White privilege is when you can attend four different colleges in six years like Sarah Palin did (one of which you basically failed out of, then returned to after making up some coursework at a community college), and no one questions your intelligence or commitment to achievement, whereas a person of color who did this would be viewed as unfit for college, and probably someone who only got in in the first place because of affirmative action.

* White privilege is when you can claim that being mayor of a town smaller than most medium-sized colleges, and then Governor of a state with about the same number of people as the lower fifth of the island of Manhattan, makes you ready to potentially be president, and people don't all piss on themselves with laughter, while being a black U.S. Senator, two-term state Senator, and constitutional law scholar, means you're "untested."

* White privilege is being able to say that you support the words "under God" in the pledge of allegiance because "if it was good enough for the founding fathers, it's good enough for me," and not be immediately disqualified from holding office--since, after all, the pledge was written in the late 1800s and the "under God" part wasn't added until the 1950s--while believing that reading accused criminals and terrorists their rights (because, ya know, the Constitution, which you used to teach at a prestigious law school requires it), is a dangerous and silly idea only supported by mushy liberals.

* White privilege is being able to be a gun enthusiast and not make people immediately scared of you. White privilege is being able to have a husband who was a member of an extremist political party that wants your state to secede from the Union, and whose motto was "Alaska first," and no one questions your patriotism or that of your family, while if you're black and your spouse merely fails to come to a 9/11 memorial so she can be home with her kids on the first day of school, people immediately think she's being disrespectful.

* White privilege is being able to make fun of community organizers and the work they do--like, among other things, fight for the right of women to vote, or for civil rights, or the 8-hour workday, or an end to child labor--and people think you're being pithy and tough, but if you merely question the experience of a small town mayor and 18-month governor with no foreign policy expertise beyond a class she took in college--you're somehow being mean, or even sexist.

* White privilege is being able to convince white women who don't even agree with you on any substantive issue to vote for you and your running mate anyway, because all of a sudden your presence on the ticket has inspired confidence in these same white women, and made them give your party a "second look."

* White privilege is being able to fire people who didn't support your political campaigns and not be accused of abusing your power or being a typical politician who engages in favoritism, while being black and merely knowing some folks from the old-line political machines in Chicago means you must be corrupt.

* White privilege is being able to attend churches over the years whose pastors say that people who voted for John Kerry or merely criticize George W.
Bush are going to hell, and that the U.S. is an explicitly Christian nation and the job of Christians is to bring Christian theological principles into government, and who bring in speakers who say the conflict in the Middle East is God's punishment on Jews for rejecting Jesus, and everyone can still think you're just a good church-going Christian, but if you're black and friends with a black pastor who has noted (as have Colin Powell and the U.S. Department of Defense) that terrorist attacks are often the result of U.S foreign policy and who talks about the history of racism and its effect on black people, you're an extremist who probably hates America.

* White privilege is not knowing what the Bush Doctrine is when asked by a reporter, and then people get angry at the reporter for asking you such a "trick question," while being black and merely refusing to give one-word answers to the queries of Bill O'Reilly means you're dodging the question, or trying to seem overly intellectual and nuanced.

* White privilege is being able to claim your experience as a POW has anything at all to do with your fitness for president, while being black and experiencing racism is, as Sarah Palin has referred to it a "light" burden.

* And finally, white privilege is the only thing that could possibly allow someone to become president when he has voted with George W. Bush 90 percent of the time, even as unemployment is skyrocketing, people are losing their homes, inflation is rising, and the U.S. is increasingly isolated from world opinion, just because white voters aren't sure about that whole "change" thing. Ya know, it's just too vague and ill-defined, unlike, say, four more years of the same, which is very concrete and certain.

* White privilege is, in short, the problem.


Tim Wise is the author of White Like Me (Soft Skull, 2005, revised 2008), and of Speaking Treason Fluently, publishing this month, also bySoft Skull. For review copies or interview requests, please reply to publicity@softskull.com

I'm voting Republican because..... (and don't worry, I'm totally not voting Republican)

catch-up time

Ms. Biddy and Ms. Crankbee-- Hello friends! It's so good to hear from you both. The love and the advice were very much appreciated, thank you. I still have catching up to do, but look for me on your blogs soon!

I was reading Wit's End, in my endless task of catching up in everyone's lives, the other day. She had a post about finding one's voice and how that can be difficult.

I SO related. I'm so much more than a grrrl gettin' hitched. The blog must evolve beyond that. However, I don't think that, until tonight, I have accepted that I may not find that voice for a while.

To that I say-- "Oh the hell well!"

Tonight I rant.

Probably not the voice that I am looking for, but at least there are words on this page.

1. I love the black box. What a great way to connect with other bloggers. Thank you for the comment and I will begin to do the same.

2. I will begin to do the same after this week. I have been planning an event for the judiciary in my state for months. There are 700 judges and lawyers coming. There's even a man flying in from London who is a member of the House of Lords tomorrow (similar to the Supreme Court in the US). I'm freaking busy. 'Nough said.

3. A co-worker of mind said I looked like Sarah Palin today and I was so angry I jokingly came at him with my coffee. Apparently because I had a ponytail and plastic framed glasses I looked like her. DAMN HER. I'm completely offended and I'm completely offended that me wearing a pony tail (which I do 361 days of the year) and me wearing my glasses (which I have worn for years every day of the year) makes me look like her. I came first. Her new found stardom is undeserved and completely ridiculous and unpatriotic. I wanted to tell my coworker that he looked like Hitler to see how he felt in such a ludicrous depiction.

4. We put a third offer on a third house tonight. We aren't going to get this one either. Our real estate agent, when asked what the average number of offers a first-time homebuyer makes, said, "One offer. " This is one of those times I hate going against the norm.

5. Marriage is work. It's been only 4 months and it's work. I don't say that because I don't love every minute-- I DO!!!!! It's just that so many women lately seem to think that marriage will bring them and their significant others closer together. I'm perplexed by that idea. It's actually overwhelming because the relationship starts at a new beginning-- the precipice of the future. And it's a damn daunting task. Thank the goddesses i have Garrett to look out upon our dreams with.

6. My republican co-worker today was treated by our staff as being the person who loves the American flag the most. It's a long story and I don't really want to go into it. Suffice it to say, at staff meeting we were talking about the Pledge of Allegiance. Everyone looked to him for his reaction as though his being right-wing gave him 0wnership of the flag. I have never been so offended. If I had a time machine I would go back in time and tell him, in front of everyone, "Stop looking so smug. You don't love or deserve the flag an ounce more than I do." Flaming liberals, like myself, have some work to do. I love our country the same, if not more, than those right-wingers. My acts of dissent are my greatest forms of patriotism. I should dare anyone to tell me differently.

7. I think that's it.

Love and goodnight, Beck.

ps-- Full-out wedding pictures to come during the week. They are awesome, untraditional and fabulous. I think you will all enjoy.

Long time no blog

Yes, I have been completely MIA. And yes, I have really missed bloggy world.

The thing is, I was so overwhelmed by the wedding and all that jazz-- and overwhelmed at my feeling of obligation for blogging on it-- that I just kinda took a vacation from it all.

Alas.

I miss bloggy world. I particular miss Wit's End, and Ashes to Glass, and Chiblog-o. Seriously, I miss you ladies. Thanks for all the love while I have been gone. I miss all the rest of you too. I didn't just stop writing, I stopped reading as well. And I have a ton of catching up to do.

On another note, I was a bit miffed by one of my closest bloggy friends. You see, I befriended another amazing woman blogger who I have never met and who lives completely across the country. While she and I are probably completely different in "real life," I had become a huge admirer of hers for her positive outlook, her dedication to blogging several times a day and her drive to "do good" in her everyday life.

About two weeks before my wedding she went through a really tough time with a relationship in her life. She started to email me outside of the blog for advice and support and I would reply with my best thoughts of support and love.

But then life hit.

The two weeks leading up to hitching day were crazy busy. Sometimes I wouldn't get to my personal email for days and when I did, I had to reply to folks coming in from out of town. I had to prioritize. Frankly, I should have been there for her more. But stress had hit. Family was in from out of town. I had a ton to do. And I had a lot of people during that time that I felt like I had a responsibility to make happy.

So... I got back from my honeymoon and she had made all of her blogs private and I was not included on her reading list anymore. I was really sad.

Anyone else ever been dumped by a bloggy friend? It totally sucks.

Sociologically, it's also completely strange. What are these types of relationships that we create over the internets without ever having ever really met? What does it mean to follow a relatively complete stranger's life day in and day out? And what does it all mean when it comes to an end?

Anyhow, I ramble. But I completely welcome any other stories like this. I could use some insight.

So the months have passed and I am completely wonderful. I am so happily hitched to my hubby it's crazy. We put an offer on our first house together this week! The animals are great despite the war against fleas. And in general, life is good.

I'm getting back to blogging tonight though, because I have a mission. I am determined to do all I can to elect Barack Obama this November. I can't just sit at home and fret about November. I must do something. Tonight Garrett and I are creating a new website to encourage community advocacy and voter registration. And I plan to back it up using this site-- which is no longer called, "Holy Shit! We're Gettin' Hitched." Now you can find me at, "www.urbancowgrrrl.com."

I plan to use this website for some politics for the next 7 weeks. If it's not your thing, bear with me, register to vote, and I will attempt to speckle this with personal connection when I can.

I seriously did miss my bloggy friends.

Thanks for your patience.

Love,
Beck

Sine die

Sine Die is the last day of the legislative session. It was a nail biter, that one. I spent anywhere from 12- 18 hours a day working at the Capitol last week. And now, dear internets, it is, finally, done.

And not a day too soon.

I'm ready to shelve my heels, suits, briefcase, pounds of paper, templates for reporting, legislator smile and my political brain for a while.

At least for the next 31 days.

31 days until we get hitched.

May I just say, "Holy shit!"

Yikes, it is truly right around the corner. I couldn't do a damn thing last week on the wedding and I'm trying to make up for it this week.

Besides the to-do list of details to be completed, I'm just so ready. We've been engaged and thinking about this day for 14 months. Quite a build-up. Now it's upon us and it doesn't even seem real.

Over my blogging sabbatical I found a salon and did my hair run-through, got a facial, shopped for gifts for my grrrls, purchased all sorts of stuff for the food and tables, went attendant dress shopping, began to write a detailed run-through of the events, booked the rehearsal dinner space, reorganized the house, crafted the programs/favors (which are super rad), assisted in creating, addressing and mailing the invitations, logged the RSVPs, updated the registry, bought shoes, bought earrings, made a music-play list, and the list just goes on. Gar did all of that and bought a tux, got fitted, shopped, designed wine labels, the program/favor, the invitations, printed posters, and brought me roses for no reason.

Gar is doing his thesis, working full-time, working another full-time job on the website (soon to be announced), and working on the rental house.

I'd like to say that life will slow down a bit after we get hitched but it's not looking likely.

Therefore, my attention is directed at Belize.

Oh Belize. If you are anything like my daydreams I will be so happy.

The Legislature keeps on keeping on

I, barely, survived Cross-Over Day at the Capitol this week. Cross-Over Day is the last day for legislation to pass its point of origin. The Senate finished at 6:00 and I got excited that we could be out early. The House stayed until 11:00 pm. That makes for a very long day.

To top it all off, our state budget is $250,000,000 off. Therefore we will be in session now through the middle of April. I am not pleased with this news. That gives me less than a month until Hitching Day. It's not that I really need the time to get things done. We are doing pretty well with that on the weekends. Rather, I need time to heal. Being surrounded every day for 8-16 hours by hateful people gets my spirits down. After 7 years of lobbying for justice I am really beginning to question if this is what I really want to continue to do.

For better or worse, I have been infected with the political parasite that encourages me to get up everyday and "try and make the world a better place." Yeah, I know, sickeningly optimistic and romantic.

But it's true.

It's taking a toll though this year. I am vulnerable and empathetic. Two traits that serve me well in a variety of situations. Two traits that make me hurt on the inside when debate centers on hating people for no good reason except that they hinder the golden pathway to wealth for a handful of people.

But I put on a tough face under our gold dome. At least I think I do. I wear a suit and heels. Really big heels when I need to kick ass. I get my work done and then some. I spew our message and I believe in it. Then I go home, have a beer, take a shower, sleep, and get up to do it again. Usually with aching and bruised feet from 14 hours in said high heels.

And when it's all over for the year, it takes a few weeks to come down from the adrenaline rush. It takes a few weeks to shake the sadness and, at times, the anger. It takes a few weeks to get back to believing that change is indeed possible. It takes a few weeks of calculated alone time, because usually, by then, I'm really sick of people.


It just takes some time to get back into the world that does not include the microcosm of the State Capitol.

Go 'bama go!

I belong to the most apathetic voting demographic. I think efforts like this can change that.

Take Your Gun to Work Day

The Georgia Senate passed a big NRA bill today. It says that property owners can't tell you not to bring a gun onto the property. For instance, the store Target may have a policy that states employees may not bring weapons onto their parking lots. This bill says yes, yes you can.

Last year they tried to pass this bill. On the day it was scheduled to be on the Senate Floor for debate it was tabled because the Virginia Tech shooting was occurring at the same time. The Senators decided it probably wasn't a good time to be passing gun legislation. The next time it was scheduled a woman was shot to death by a co-worker and ex-lover at work. Yup-- they decided again, maybe we shouldn't pass a bill saying that you can bring your gun to work. Don't get me wrong, they all L-O-V-E-D the bill, but didn't want the bad press.

But the next day, it was on. It got caught up in all sorts of crap last year and did not pass. Today it did. I call it the "Take Your Gun to Work Day" bill.

Take your daughter to work day? Great concept.

Take your lunch to work day? Wonderful.

Take my lazy ass to work day? I do it every day.

Take your Gun to work day? Bad, Bad, Bad idea.

Backlash Bastards Present:

Fox is at it again. While I was thinking that"Wife Swap" had taken the cake for unbelievably misogynistic television programming...

-- and no I haven't ever seen it, but come on, does one really need to?---

.... the folks at Fox were coming up with this: When Women Rule the World

Here is the press release-- and the credit for the strategically bolded words goes to Jessica Pozner on Alternet.

What if it was "a woman's world"? What if women made ALL the decisions? If men were their obedient subjects?

These questions and more will be explored when a group of strong, educated, independent women, tired of living in a man's world and each with a personal axe to grind, rule over a group of unsuspecting men used to calling the shots on WHEN WOMEN RULE THE WORLD.

The unscripted series will reveal how women and men react in a world where women are in charge and men are subservient, and each gender's ability to adapt to a new social order will be put to the test.

The participants will be brought to a remote, primitive location where the women will have the opportunity to "rule" as they build a newly formed society - one where there is no glass ceiling and no dressing to impress. For the men, their worlds of power and prestige are turned inside-out and upside-down. And for these women, turnabout is fair play!

In order to win, the men must accede to the women's every demand, 24/7. Here, women command and men obey. Over the series' duration, the men will be eliminated by the women until one last man is standing.

How will the men react? How will the women treat the men? Can women effectively rule society? Will the men learn what life is like for some women in today's world? Will this new society be a Utopia or a hell on earth? And in the end, who will be man enough to succeed in the new social order?
PRODUCTION COMPANY
Rocket Science Laboratories, Inc.

Allow me to vent for just a second-- focusing on Jessica's bolded statements.

So the point of the show is to flip our current gender roles. By creating this overindulged men on leash type picture-- doesn't it just further reinstate, without question, how Fox believes women exist? Wow Fox-- at least you came right out and said it. Because it's true-- women don't have the power that men do currently in reality. But by hyperbolizing a very real situation Fox has made sexism a theory of futility, something to watch on the ol' boob-tobe for a laugh and a good time. (Something tells me that the term boob-tube and this show may have something in common.)

And I'm so freakin' impressed that Fox has labeled these women as women with 'an axe to grind." Seriously, what the hell is that? (my bold) Are you trying to warn viewers that the classicly stereotyped 'scorned women' are coming? Not only coming but they won't be dressed to impress? Run for your lives!!!! It's worse than Godzilla!!!! It's a woman who makes decisions! Auuuuughhhh!

But it's not women making decisions-- that's just what they claim. It's women who will be filmed-- and I bet 1 million dollars-- fighting in a stereotypical 'catty' way. Filmed to make it look like the women are making complete asses out of themselves. Proving to the world that women just can't handle it without a man. I'm also willing to bet that they will be wearing bikinis at some point. Because, broadly stated, to sexualize an annonymous woman is to trivialize her personhood. Therefore making this crazy upside down world more bearable for the men who just like to look at a hot woman. I do believe that is the Fox way.

The synopsis asks if men will understand what it's like for a woman? Um, yeah. Sure. Take a group of people to a "remote, primitive location" (could this be the sterotyped Amazon woman?) and make the men fulfill the women's' every demand for 24/7. This is such a damn angering question because the very point of asking that, within that context, completely diminishes the roles we as women take-on and live with in reality. So therefore, the comparison is moot. Ughhh.

Furthermore, this show basically says for women to have power, men must be subservient. That is entirely problematic-- and I think gets at the root of not only sexism but a variety of other oppressions as well. Back to reality, isn't that what many men are fearful of? Women get power and that means men are immediately 'emasculated?' Score another one for Fox for driving this home.

Just three more quick things....

1. The winner of the show is a man. Ummm.... I don't get it.

2. Fox actually asks the question, "Can women effectively rule society?" And they are posing this question as though their freaking reality show is a damn test tube and the very experiment of testing women as though we are lab rats can unfold right there in the comfort of your very home-- and actually mean something.

And lastly, 3. Don't you think it's damn ironic that this show (which again, I bet you, will be incredibly degrading to not just women, but to men as well) is premiering at the same time that a women is leading in the polls (Dem) for the presidency for the first time in history????? Is this Fox's way of showing the nation what will happen if we elect Hillary?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm very happy I don't watch TV.

I can't believe I even gave this the time of day to type a brief rant. But I was reading about Elizabeth Edwards today. She takes risks. She called out Ann Coulter. Sometimes there is no such thing as, "You shouldn't swing at a pitch in the dirt." Sometimes you just have to take a crack right back.

ps-- just to put it out in the universe: I love you Hillary, I love you Elizabeth, and I, of course, love you Nancy...

Crabby McCrabberson

What a great weekend we had. Gar and I have seen Angela and Tim nearly everyday! It is so nice having them as neighbors. Welcome to the Hood my friends! On Saturday we helped them move. Moving my stuff always makes me crabby. Combine that with 97 degree heat-- and I would have been very crabby. But Tim and Angela? Not at all. I was completely impressed. They were chipper, giggly, and kind (as always) the entire time. Even when we were all 'done.' You two are the best!

Later that night, after the move and a lovely dinner with them, we all got talking politics. I don't like talking politics. (That's not true-- I have quite a few amazing fellow politico-nerds that I talk to daily about politics. But outside of that group, I don't like to talk about them-- at home, at other people's homes, etc.) Perhaps it's because I work in them and have to talk about them all day long? Perhaps because I spent a better part of my youth talking politics and got completely burnt out? Perhaps I have a degree of apathy that makes me think its pointless to talk about them outside of work (or my politico community) 'cause I'm gonna believe what I believe and the other person is going to believe what she or he believes? Perhaps I get too sad when I find out someone I think is great in so many other ways ends up being anti-choice, Libertarian, or otherwise crazy? Perhaps I'm just too darn overwhelmed with the state of the world and I find it difficult and depressing to have sweeping, global conversations? Perhaps I don't like mixing personal friendships and politics? Maybe I'm a bit tired of people knowing me for 5 seconds and somehow already realizing my seemingly overt political nature?

Whatever it is, I wasn't prepared for the delight that ensued. I had fun talking politics with the three of them-- and for the first time-- in a long time, I felt passion (outside of work). We talked about the upcoming presidential race. We talked about oppression, internalized oppression, women in politics and voting. We talked about changing the world. We didn't agree on everything, but it was OK. The guys probably think I'm crazy (but I get the sense that Angela didn't) because I felt the emotions to nearly the same degree that I did on election night when we found out that for the first time in American history a woman would have a top-position of power. They were unprepared for how I felt. Tears sprung to my eyes when I described what that means for young girls growing up everywhere. I immediately felt the societal pressure to apologize for getting 'emotional.'

But I didn't.

I need to learn to honor such emotions. I think that is one of my problems with politics at this time; it could be argued that the only emotion we see regularly is hate. Perhaps more love, admiration, passion, community, friendship, compassion, empathy, sympathy, empowerment, happiness (and did I say love) could change things.

The more I think about it, I think maybe that's why I don't like talking politics. I've become a cynic. It's expected... But I digress... I have written (read: rambled) and lost sight of the whole purpose of this post-- crabs.

Sunday night Gar, Ms. Dawnie, her roomie and I went to the All-You-Can-Eat Crab Legs Extravaganza at the James Joyce.

I love crab legs.

So very much.

Really, a lot.

Yum.

$19.99 and 4 plates later I was full. Full and filled with crab and happy.

I, myself, didn't get crabby again until Monday. Sometimes I just wish the weekends were longer.